I always knew they loved her more!

1. OUR RELATIONSHIP WITH MONEY

Money is an uncomfortable subject for the majority of us. Many people would rather talk about the intimate details of their lives than share the their bank balance.

How do you deal with money?
How do your children deal with money?

2. WHAT DO YOU VALUE?

Your values will help guide your decisions about what you most want to achieve with your will. Money, in and of itself, represents no permanent value, or values. It is action that infuses money with meaning, and makes it an instrument of values.
Reflecting upon the following questions will help to clarify your values.

What is most important to me in life?
How do I want to be remembered?
What is my life’s legacy and how do I want it to be celebrated?

3. IT’S NOT ONLY ABOUT MONEY: HOW WILL YOUR BENEFICIARIES INTERPRET THE DISTRIBUTION OF YOUR ASSETS?

No family is perfect. Scratch beneath the surface and you will often find hurt feelings, jealousies, resentments and sibling rivalries. Inherited money will not heal these wounds, but it might inflame them. For many people, “who gets what”, has a far greater meaning than the actual asset itself. What you chose to leave your family members can become synonymous with your love, approval and acceptance of them.

4. DIVIDE SENTIMENTAL ITEMS WHILE YOU ARE STILL ALIVE AND PUT IN WRITING WHAT YOU ARE LEAVING TO WHOM.

Many people underestimate the power of small sentimental possessions. Yet it is the small stuff that often leads to conflict. Who will get grandma’s engagement ring? What about the grandfather clock? And how about mom’s antique teacup collection?

5. FAIR DOES NOT NECESSARILY MEAN EQUAL

Many children believe that dividing an estate equally means that it has been divided fairly. That is not necessarily the case. Each of us has our own perception of what we believe to be equal and rarely do our assets reduce to clean and equal fractions. What matters most is your perception of what is fair.

6. CONSIDER GIFTING WHILE YOU ARE STILL ALIVE

Giving children an inheritance while you are still alive may serve them at a time when they most need your financial assistance. Furthermore, you will derive satisfaction from watching your heirs profit from your financial contribution. Of course there is always the possibility that you will bear witness to money being badly managed.

7. CLEARLY COMMUNICATE YOUR WISHES TO YOUR LOVED ONES

Our reluctance to speak about our finances with our heirs can wreak havoc and even destroy families. The distribution of assets causes many people to question their relationships with their parents and under certain circumstances it can even cause children to question their parents love of them. Even if you remain quiet, you are likely to send unintended messages to your family long after your death. So communicate your wishes and tell your heirs why you have made the decisions that you have made.